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[Mon, Aug 21st, 2006 @ 01:17am] |
i don't think anyone has any idea how happy i am to be back in san francisco.
i love everything and everyone here.
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| san francisco or bust |
[Fri, Aug 18th, 2006 @ 11:10pm] |
peace out bitchessss!
see ya in 3 months!
or sooner if you come visit me.
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[Fri, Aug 18th, 2006 @ 09:33am] |
today is my last day here for a long while.
eeeeeeeeeeeahhhhdweeeeee!!! back to the city! i'm sooo excited!
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[Wed, Aug 16th, 2006 @ 01:12am] |
i am so in love with vincent gallo.
i leave in 3 days.
i'm happy but i'm scared.
i don't really know why,
but i think i might just be afraid to go back to how i used to be.
lately i've had the urge to cry for absolutely no logical reason whatsoever.
i can feel it starting again and i don't know why it's happening.
i don't know why this happens to me.
but i'm going to try to change it.
i don't feel like myself.
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| wino forever |
[Sat, Aug 12th, 2006 @ 10:02pm] |
i think someday i would like to move somewhere beautiful and have my own winery.
got my hair cut and i look like a little boy, but i like it.
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[Thu, Aug 10th, 2006 @ 11:52pm] |
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i know that no one will actually respond to this, but if by any chance someone happens to have seen or knows of a really cute short haircut, pleeeeease tell me/show me. i am desperately trying to figure out what to do with my hair and i only have a day and a half left to figure it out. okay, thanks to anyone who actually takes the time to help me out.
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[Tue, Aug 8th, 2006 @ 12:07am] |
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i hate more than anything that i had everything i ever wanted and just as soon as it was mine, it wasn't. i hate it, i hate it, i hate it. and it kills me every time i think about it. i wish i had never had it at all.
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[Mon, Jul 31st, 2006 @ 11:15pm] |
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i am counting down the days until i will be somewhere where, although i might still be depressed, i can at least go outside and find something to distract me for a while. i said something to someone last night that i probably should not have said, but it needed to be said. it lifted a weight off my shoulders, but now i have new fears looming over my head and i don't know which was better, keeping it all inside or becoming extremely vulnerable. it wouldn't be the first time i set myself up for let down. in other news, it seems i've lost someone. i can't say i'm sad. in fact i'm both relieved and angry. i never liked you completely, but i loved you. at least this way there is one less person i will have to justify and defend. august 19th can't come soon enough. i am overjoyed to be leaving this place again, but at the same time i'm exhausted at the thought because it's only a matter of time until where i am drives me completely insane and depressed again. i think i need someone new in my life. sometimes i think i just need a new life.
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[Sat, Jul 29th, 2006 @ 01:50am] |
tonight was good.
funny and weird and good.
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[Fri, Jul 28th, 2006 @ 11:31am] |
why do i find out about things when it's too late.
looks like manu chao is sold out, but if i manage to get tickets, who wants to go with me?
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[Thu, Jul 27th, 2006 @ 07:42pm] |
i hate people with boyfriends.
i hate not being in san francisco.
i hate here and i hate now.
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[Wed, Jul 26th, 2006 @ 12:40am] |
today was the first time in a very long time that i read a book in one sitting,
and it felt really good.
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[Tue, Jul 25th, 2006 @ 12:29am] |
i always appreciate weed,
but tonight i had one of those moments where i was like,
'wow, i really love being high'
and i really do
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[Sun, Jul 23rd, 2006 @ 09:19am] |
i love lightning and thunder storms.
and rain, i've missed the rain.
this morning was exciting and nice.
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[Fri, Jul 21st, 2006 @ 01:10am] |
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gnarls was SO goooooooooood.
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[Wed, Jul 19th, 2006 @ 10:01pm] |
i can't believe they sent malan home.
i liked him.
and they let angela stay.
the bitch can't even sketch.
ahhhhhhhh.
project runway is my life.
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| tears and summer heat make for the worst headaches ever |
[Wed, Jul 12th, 2006 @ 11:19pm] |
today was a long and hard and simply bad day. i suppose it was good for me in the sense that i discovered that although i feel as though i come off as highly unsympathetic, that just isn't so. i just deal with it differently. but i don't know if it's really sympathy if the other doesn't know i'm feeling for them. i feel so useless. there is absolutely nothing i can do, but if i had the power i would give up everything just to make things right. it just really kills me that i am so powerless. i hardly give, which is not very good at all, but when i really feel the urge to give everything i can there is nothing that i can do. i guess the best thing would be for me to remain positive even though everything is seemingly doomed. if anything it will probably just spiral me into an even deeper depression which is entirely nonsensical and unnecessary, but what can i do? oh, right... nothing. why is it that life must throw its heaviest stones at you all at once? and why does the worst year of his life have to be the same as the worst year of mine? at the very least the two could be separated so that collective morale wasn't quite so goddamn low.
whoever reads this, can you do me a favor and keep my family in your prayers/thoughts/whatever you believe in that might help? thank you.
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[Sun, Jul 9th, 2006 @ 10:22pm] |
italy won the world cup. good.
the world cup is over. bad.
zinedine zidane was an asshole. bad. (but he's still sexy)
gianluigi buffon. mmm good.
weed. always good.
pirates 2. good.
johnny depp. very very good.
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